Looking back, I don't know why I agreed to do this, why I submitted myself to video game masochism. I don't know why I thought my first experience with a FromSoftware game would be like every other video game review: 30 hours gone, game finished, review written, thanks and goodnight.
And yet - 30 hours in the Elden Ring, I've barely made a dent. I didn't realize until now that I could have so much fun making myself so sad.
The beauty and the Beast
The Elden Ring is forbidden, majestic and sick in every sense of the word. Its overarching story about a fallen kingdom is deliberately puny—an unspecified amount was written by Game of Thrones writer George R.R. Martin, the rest by Dark Souls mastermind Hidetaka Miyazaki. Its setting, The Lands Between, is filled with countless little joys, like the roaming sheep that shuns armadillo style when you get too close. But they are also home to countless nightmares, such as giant dragonflies that haunt you while you are tormented by dry farmers, giant knights, or roaring bands of flame-breathing dragons. These vast landscapes largely replace the dense, layered layers that Dark Souls was famous for. In the Elden Ring, however, the opportunity to survey diverse terrain – whether a noxious swampland or gusty prairie – evokes an injection of gaming dopamine (and some genuine fear, too).
It's made better by your trusty horse, Torrent - a beautiful creature resembling an elk. Blow the whistle and he'll execute under you, ready for the ride. While he's inaccessible in many of the game's dungeons, Torrent also gives you an offensive edge, as you can better cut the crowd over the saddle than on foot. However, his best feature is his double-jump. Yes, that's right - Breath of the Wild has nothing on that! Use the torrent to lift rocks or jump down ravines to reduce the damage caused by a fall that would normally kill you. But take heed; While torrents may make you feel invincible, great heights or particularly sly opponents can still defeat you.
Yet despite these innovations in world design and traversal, FromSoftware stays true to its traditional boss formula, often throwing you — a comparatively small warrior — into a dim-lit to brawl with some fiercely powerful cretins. in the Colosseum. But when this fiercely powerful Cretin's health bar is finally cut to zero, after literally 43 tries (yes, I counted for the first boss), that's when the celebration begins. It looks like this: A 24-year-old man with sweaty palms and a fast heart rate jumps off his couch and yells, "F*** yeah! FINALLY!" and quickly writes the news to his roommate.
A rare, grim world
The aesthetic of the Elden Ring deserves recognition, even if it doesn't match the glamor or realism of rival Open World games. Instead, it goes out of its way to make you feel small. Eardtree - gargantuan and golden - hovers across the map, its flax, ethereal leaves slowly falling to the deadly ground beneath it. It is a shining lighthouse in an otherwise dark, medieval world, always out of reach. While the terrain can be sparse, filled with interchangeable ruins, I often find myself retreating from the endless onslaught to take a screenshot of my surroundings. The broken turrets of Stormville Castle or the muddy waters of Lakes Liurnia provide a mystical backdrop while you slowly become poisoned, bloodied or torn to pieces.
It is during these moments of pain and suffering, however, where the Elden Ring is paradoxically at its brightest. In other titles, death can feel cheap. For example, Nintendo games aren't that challenging, so combat can seem arbitrary; After internalizing an enemy's simple attack pattern, most experienced gamers will win after a few tries.
The Elden Ring, in contrast, refuses to hold your hand. An enemy takes three massive blows, and one final anticipatory strike drains the rest of your precious health bar before you can escape. The game constantly drives you into a corner, forcing you to make quick decisions. You will dodge into the opponent's ax before time runs out. You'll lunge only to miscalculate the distance and end up exposed. In a desperate retreat, you will find yourself hanging on the blade of an unseen enemy. But practice eventually makes perfect. Unlike what I've experienced in other video games, making the best of the boss is a wave of pure relief and satisfaction.
A little help from friends
Thankfully, you are not alone in the fight. The Elden Ring follows the former Souls game in allowing you to summon other characters or players to help. But it also innovates with a system unlike Pokémon. You can collect spirit ashes from enemies, allowing you to accept versions of them as an occasional ally. Even though ghostly dogs, skeletons, or jellyfish aren't great at inflicting damage, they distract enemies long enough to help even obstacles.
However, what surprised me the most about Elden Ring was how out loud I actually laughed while playing. It's surprisingly difficult, but instead of grumbling and moaning, I was reassured to know that other players would experience the exact same trials and tribulations. At a time where so many people, myself included, are concerned, I wasn't sure I'd want to play something so punitive. It's easy for the Nintendo Switch to pick up on my main games and turn my mind off. But after realizing how exciting it was to conquer my fears, explore the middle ground, and die over and over again, the Elden Ring became a joy, especially when my roommate looked up and laughed at my inevitable destruction.