Gurpreet Singh Sandhu really misses out on buying onions.
It may sound silly, but having spent the past year-and-a-half ISL season and one AFC Cup group stage in a safe bio-bubble, all India's best goalkeepers want to lead a "normal" life.
"In a normal football environment you train, you go your separate ways, you [go home] and you spend your time with your family, friends. You can go out, buy groceries ... normal things. Everyone has a different way of dealing with things. I used to live a normal life, do normal things... vacate my apartment, clean my kitchen, things like that have hit me all the time. Time didn't think about football."
“[Back in Bangalore], I used to cycle for training. I would come back by cycle and be like, “Man, onion hi nahi hai ghar pe”. [I don’t have any onions at home] and I just want to buy something. I'll go! That was my way of getting out of it, that was the beauty on the outside."
In the clean, insular world of the Bio-Bubble, this is fiction.
"It's so hard to take that mental break." The more you try, the harder it gets, he says, because "then you think about the reason you're here. If you're walking past someone's room, you remember that It's your teammate and there's going to be a match soon." Even when he manages to focus his thoughts elsewhere, once in his room, it's quickly brought back. . "It's a small room and every second I see my gloves and my shoes hanging there on the balcony and it makes me think about it over and over again."
That doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate what the league is doing to protect players or that he doesn't realize his good fortune of being able to do what he loves for a job. She feels it's important to note that even when you're happy, when things are going well, it's okay to be disappointed, miss something, and want more. Which is why he's comfortable saying that being in a Bio-Bubble is "really, really mentally taxing" for him. "I have a life outside of football that's really affecting."
The mental health of footballers is a subject very close to Gurpreet's heart. Scroll through his, or her club, social media and there will always be little bits of it with him talking about how important it is.
This is an unusual practice in the world of alpha-athletes in which he lives, where opening up about one's problems can often be considered a sign of weakness – but it makes it an even more important act. "People don't welcome this kind of talk in the dressing room, so it's important for us to take that responsibility and talk more about it."
Gurpreet says, "Many players make mistakes, man. "I don't think you can watch the perfect match anywhere over the weekend. [For players who make those mistakes] it's important to be there, to let them know it's okay. If they feel like it, or if they feel like they can contact a professional who knows a lot about this, they can do so."
It comes into focus fast, especially because of its playing position. Goalkeeping is an unforgiving gig, a distinctly different position in a team sport, and yet extremely high profile. Make a mistake and you can lose a match. Save any number of excellent, you just save it. Winning - and the praise that goes with it - is left to the goalscorers, not to stop them. If you have a busy day, it is essentially because your team played poorly. If not, you'll have to find a way to be constantly on the alert, even when the ball is nowhere near you.
This ISL season has been defined by goalkeeping mistakes, including a couple of Gurpreet himself, that serve to underline just how much pressure they go through.
Gurpreet agrees that he can stay there alone. “It comes to mind that a goalkeeper has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. During the game, I try to keep myself involved in the game even if the ball is not coming to me, but I tend to speak a lot. I'll try." People who've seen him in action know what he's talking about. Even when West Block Blues & Co is at its loudest, you can still hear Gurpreet shouting instructions, mentoring and praising his colleagues. “If you come to Goa, you will hear it a lot more,” he says with a laugh.
Apart from all this, there is also the pressure of maintaining his place in the team. While an outfielder can always be rotated, goalkeepers are rarely turned. If you are number 1, you play. Otherwise you sit. Gurpreet has been number 1 for the club and country for a long, long time and he doesn't plan to vacate that spot anytime soon.
"It's a tough situation, obviously. That's where I love a challenge. If everything was happy and cheerful, it wouldn't be fun. I'm glad I have competition for the job I have. That's what I do." When someone else had. That's how hard it is to keep."
So Gurpreet sees the positivity. "I try to guide from behind because I can see what the other players can't. That's the best thing about being a goalkeeper, the view is amazing. I just try to use it, mentally." than not getting involved with the ball even when you're in the game. This is what I've learned with experience. Being a goalkeeper, it's very easy to get distracted or lose your concentration or focus in a game, especially when you're dominating the game have been."
He says that this experience has also helped him handle mistakes.
"You're a human and you're prone to make mistakes. Over the years, I've made a lot of them. Earlier in my career I didn't deal with them in the best way. Especially if you hurry up a game - If you're not focused enough, if you haven't worked it out or don't have a plan - you'll slip down that slippery slope and make more mistakes. There have been games where I've done that, that's my Or don't help the team."
For them, that realization comes from difficult experience, and a lot of self-work—which is where they think the discussion of mental health comes in. "There has to be room for [discussion], where [every player] has that comfort zone. Where they are not judged on these things and they can talk about it, or be encouraged."
He is so vocal about it as it was not so early in his career. "Nobody told us about it. There was no education on how to deal with things like this. Trial and error, trial and fail, and do it again... It was like that."
The lack of decision-free zones is not limited to football. Over the years, both Virat Kohli and Cheteshwar Pujara have spoken out about Indian cricket's culture of silence. Aakash Chopra talks about the fear the pros have at the time of opening.
“When I joined BFC and when I was in Norway,” Gurpreet says, “these were the places that helped me a lot in terms of relying on your [support] ecosystem that you build around you. It’s yours. Be it mates, family, teammates you can talk to. That's why you see so many great players with teammates. They have people they can talk to." At Bengaluru FC, he feels that the club is the entourage. "We have players and staff that work on that. They've provided that area where you can talk about it and move on. That's the main point."
That support system is something that needs to be developed consciously, whether in a team sport or individually. For example, Abhinav Bindra and Suma Shirur have been vocal about the urgent need for a structured support system to protect the mental health of India's young shooters. Haryana Steelers, the BFC's affiliate of the Pro Kabaddi League, has hired a sports psychologist to handle the mental stress of athletes returning to the high-pressure environment after a two-year break.
For Gurpreet, it helped that last year BFC launched a dedicated 'Care Around the Corner' programme, with a trained psychologist helping its players. “[Last season] there were times when I just reached out to sit down and have a gauge of what a player can do to survive. Even if you think you know everything, You don't. That's where a professional comes in and helps you a lot. I'm so glad I spent those hours with [the care program]. It gave me so many productive assessments and things I could do mentally Things I can do after the game so that I can move on or prepare for the game."
De-escalation is key, says Gurpreet.
"Sometimes players usually can't sleep after a game. They keep thinking about the game, especially after a loss. [Even if it's later] almost winning or drawing the game, You can't let go of it mentally. This is the place. Help is paramount, it is very important to know how to avoid that situation. As professionals, we are in a new situation every three-four-five days So it's important to be mentally prepared for it."
Shots keep hitting you, mistakes keep happening, you have to keep passing it, charge outside your box, take risks. Without de-escalation, this is not possible.
"Over the years, I've worked on it and I've found ways to deal with it - whether it's writing about it or completely cutting myself off from all the negativity and talk for a while after the game. Give yourself some time, especially after a loss, to sit on it and let the process come and flow. When you're ready for positive or constructive feedback, talk to your coaches and see if you can What can you do to improve it?"
Different techniques work for different people, says Gurpreet. For example, if he's not journaling, he sketches (rather well) or reads. Outside the bubble, when the world was normal, he used to go for long drives after matches, but in the bubble or not, Gurpreet feels the most important thing is that you do something. Anything. "You can't just sit in a room and shut yourself up and do nothing. That's when [your mental strength] deteriorates."
It is the fine balance of pressure and health on which Gurpreet wants to focus his fellow footballers, teammates and the entire league.
He wants everyone to talk.
In that ideal world, Vinesh Phogat would not need to ask how India would react to an Olympic athlete saying they are not mentally prepared for an event.
"This is something that has been neglected for so many years and there has been a lot of stigma attached to it," says Gurpreet. This is where I think we all need to take responsibility and talk about it. Not everyone can deal with the situation properly, or do it properly. Those who need help Those who need to talk, they should talk. The most important thing is to know that it is okay to do it. Anything that helps you become better is something that should be done and celebrated."
He advocates avoiding the cesspool of toxicity that certain sections of social media can create. He wants everyone to realize that what you say "really affects a person. This isn't a bot you just posted a comment on." Abuse should not be normalized; "Nobody signed a contract saying I had to deal with the abuse I got on social media."
Bio-bubbles, social media abuse, mental stress, the necessary loneliness of his position on the field... If he could go back and talk to a young Gurpreet, would he grow up to be a footballer, a goalkeeper?
"Absolutely! It's been so enjoyable. Not many people in our world get the opportunity to do something they love and actually earn bread and shelter for themselves."
"I would just ask my younger self to identify more because I started doing that very late in my career. I would really love to be more self-aware, starting to self-educate myself already." I will do it because this is the only way. You are on this earth and you need to understand as much as you can about the world around you. This is the only way to live."